Just for Women CORR®

• Does it seem like your relationships have a shelf life?
• Do you know what your top 5 non-negotiables are?
• How many frogs do you have to kiss before you find the prince?
• Are you sure you know the difference between chemistry and love?
• Do you know what questions you must ask all potential partners?
• How do you go for the deeper conversations without compromising yourself?
• Do you think that all men are deceitful and unfaithful?
• Have you ever felt you’re the one in the relationship who does everything—and he doesn’t even notice?
• Are you tired of trying to figure out what men secretly want in a relationship?
• Do you know what the common denominator is in all your past relationships?
• Are you ready to heal your heart and find the relationship of your dreams?

• Boy meets girl ~ Boy wonders what she looks like naked
• Girl says hello ~ Boy thinks, “She wants me!”
• Girl says, "Call me" ~ Boy suspects he could get laid
• Girl says yes to date ~ Boy brings prophylactic
• Girl agrees to kiss ~ Boy initiates second base
• Girl agrees to touch ~ Boy negotiates mounting position
• Girl agrees to submit ~ Boy is almost done
• Girl wants to snuggle ~ Boy wants to leave
• Girl wants relationship ~ Boy wants freedom
• Girl wants commitment ~ Boy wants to meet another girl

While this scenario seems typical, it is likely an adolescent encounter, one where neither boy nor girl has realized his or her own values or worth. Yet we see this pattern repeated on into adulthood, defined by some as natural selection, disguised by others as courtship, that looks something like this:

GUYZ!

• Guy meets gal ~ Guy wonders what gal looks like naked
• Gal smile s~ Guy knows she wants him
• Gal says "I’ll call you." ~ Guy gives her his office voicemail JIC she’s a whacker
• Gal initiates meeting ~ Guy picks Tuesday night for early drinks—JIC
• Gal imagines what their children will look like ~ Guy hopes she doesn’t talk too much
• Gal negotiates sex ~ Guy rehearses story for optimal quick departure
• Gal calls for days ~ Guy thinks, “I knew she was a whacker.”
• Gal is convinced all men are pigs ~ Guy wonders if she wants to have sex again

In that scenario the man/boy (boy who looks like a man but acts like a boy) has not yet developed psychologically or emotionally much beyond puberty. His aptitude and skills have not matured enough to develop sustainable, long-term, mutually satisfying relationships. This unilateral relationship phenomenon is punctuated by his awareness of this fact and unwillingness to tell you so. This pattern is often interrupted when a man somehow finds a woman who “breaks his heart.” Some variation of that often initiates "man" hood. That could look like this:

MEN!

• Man meets a woman ~ Man wonders what she wants in life
• Woman responds warmly ~ Man wonders if she is as open and capable as she seems
• Man extends invitation ~ Woman accepts enthusiastically
• Woman tells man what she wants in life ~ Man notices they want the same things
• Woman sees man’s actions are consistent with words ~ Man develops respect
• Man opens his heart ~ Woman drops her drawers
• Woman speaks her mind ~ Man tells the truth
• Man and woman wake up and see what they can do to enhance each other’s lives!

Wanting sex is natural; wanting to touch, to be close, to be held—natural. As we evolve, however, it is also natural to move beyond narcissism and include others' feelings and needs into our field of reality. It is a matter of integrity, of value and worth; all concepts that come with emotional and psychological maturity. We become aware that we are on this planet together on a path of growth. In the meantime, just knowing there is a difference between boyz and MEN is a difference we all need be reminded of now and again!  Particularly when it comes to creating what we want in a relationship!!!

So you see the thing men secretly want is...to evolve into the best version of themselves! Learn what they also want that you want.

What relationship skills can you fine-tune to discover your perfect mate and live happily ever after? Maryanne has done it. She lives it daily with her husband, David, and she can show you how you too can live harmoniously with your ideal mate.

Relationships don’t have to be hard, they just have to be CORR®! Get your Certificate of Responsible Relationship to put on your online profile, letting men know you have taken care to start creating a healthy, fulfilling, sustainable realtionship.

If you have any questions, please call the Center for Responsible Relationships at 415.464.1324, or email us. You can ign up for the March 14 bootcamp at http://tinyurl.com/CORRBootcamp.

Maryanne leads popular workshops and teleseminars for men and women, has been a licensed clinical hypnotherapist for more than 20 years, and is the author of the award-winning Skinny, Tan and Rich: Unveiling the Myth and Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers. A leading relationship expert, her internationally known radio talk show reaches over a million listeners. Maryanne Comaroto is CEO and founder of SHOMI, LLC, a personal development corporation. She is also the Founder and Executive Director of the National Action Organization, a non-profit organization committed to changing the way our culture values women.